Stages of Anger

I've noticed that a certain family member (let's call her NoOne) always gets angry at ME for what NoOne has done! NoOne leaves her stuff just lying around, so, I figure, if I can teach her to keep her stuff clean and organized, she will thank me for it, no matter what the cost. Well, she gets pretty unappreciative sometimes, like this morning. She left her fancy IPOD thingy on the table, so, I taught her a lesson... by chewing it up. I know! She should be THANKING me! Ugh. Whatever.
What matters most is this part, though. Lately, I've noticed that NoOne goes through these 'stages' as I like to call them, which involve some pretty funny behavior. Stage 1: Sad, Upset.
Stage 2: Blaming everything in sight... other than herself.
Stage 3: Steam starts coming outta her ears... gross.
Stage 4: Complete and utter explosion, spontaneous combustion, whatever floats your boat.





When she explodes, THAT's when the wrath begins. I usually stay outta the way, but oh no. I'm convinced if you get too close, your whiskers will singe off.

My Top 7 Favorite Things

I decided that I had better make my favorite things clear pretty soon. So, here goes.



7.) Belly Rubs. Could be better, could be worse. I'd rather be up and doing something then get a belly rub down. Of course, when I'm winding down from my day, I don't mind a good rub.



6.) Sleeping on the Bed. MUCH nicer then sleeping on a pile of blankets on the hardwood floor. And in Sarah's room, there's carpet, so if and when i get too hot, I can just lay on the equally nice carpet. But carpet isn't number 5.



5.) Playing with Snoopy. When push comes to shove, and there's no humans to play with, Snoopy is always a good candidate. See, even with his bloated size, he can run pretty fast on those short legs, and even wrestle pretty well.



4.) Thomas. Oh, that dumb cat never sees what's coming to him. He always sees me just when he lost the time to get away, giving me this, surprised, angry look just before I barrel into him. Then everything becomes a blur of cat fur, hisses, and his paws. His ONLY defense against me. He runs to higher ground, me right on his heels, when suddenly, when he is on top of a nightstand, it hits me. No, not some kind of scientificbreakthrough, (yes, that has happened, but it's for another time and concerns Talent Shows) but a whack in the face from those soft, fru fru paws of his.



3.) Walks. Ahh, the wonder- no! The FREEDOM of those glorious walks! Me and Sarah go everywhere. The park, the Field,
the church parking lot. Anywhere is good as long as I have the wind in my fur, my tongue lolling out, fighting against the leash, trying to get the upper hand. If I had more room on this list of favorites, I would mention deer poop, and the wonders of it's smell (and taste)





2.) Rawhide Chews. Awww. Whoever invented these deserves... I don't know. but man, do I love them. I love how portable they are! I can chew them in the house, I can chew them with a mouse. I can chew them in a box.... I can....I can chew them.... chew them....in a...a...on the bed! Yeah! I can chew them on the bed!





Finally. The moment you have put up with all the other not-so-important favorite things of mine for this. Moment.



My number one favorite thing.




1.) Pup's Mom. I don't know why it's called Pup's Mom, but I'm shortening it to The Greatest and Most Awesome-st Toy in the Universe! Or, TGMATU. Huh. Sounds Japanese. Anyway, TGMATU is this dog toy that gives perfect purchase for my mouth, and it's big enough to hunt. Even though the fur is matted with my spit and coated in my blood from my loose teeth, it is the best thing. Ever. *sigh*

Snoopy's Rise to Fame

Lately, Snoopy has stolen the spotlight, not to mention all the treats. He is competing in this 'Talent Show' or whatever, but I don't buy it. Woo! Yay! You can sit! I'm going to shower you with love and treats!





I swear, one day, he's going to be used for everyday tasks,instead as a 'pet'.





Either that, or his treat intake will rise to such a high level that he will become catatonic. Then everyone will forget about him and only see me!

I'm convinced that these so called 'Talent Shows' are some kind of conspiracy. Why else would you have to go to these places and show them what you can do? Easy. They're looking for Secret Agents. If you can act, they put you as an undercover spy. If you can sing, they use you as a distractor. Who is 'they' you may ask? Well... I haven't figured that our yet. But I know they're going to use Snoopy no matter how fat he is going to get! I'm going to miss that little lug.

Trash Cans

Trash cans are the greatest things ever invented by you pink, fleshy humans. Getting those invented must have been impossible.
"Yes. I'd like to patent this 'trash can'. You eat half of a yummy treat, like cake, and then put it into my 'trash can'. Then we get the dogs involved, because the tantalizing smell attracts us to them like moths to a flame. My invention is easily tipable, making it easily in reach for the dogs, who eat like vacuums, making a chocolatey mess."
Inside this plastic haven lies the best snack of all. Leftovers, plastic things, and... ZIPLOCK BAGS!
In fact, today I got into the trash. But no, not the bathroom trash. Not the kitchen trash (although that one is a close second), but the GARAGE trash. Snoopy and I figured that that the garage trash is all the trashes put together. AND WE WERE RIGHT! 'Behold! The Motherload!' Snoopy said. And behold I did. I sniffed, I snoffed, I nipped, I ripped, but most importantly, I ate. I found a treasure. Moldy bread in a ziplock. MMMMmmmm...


But there is always a downside to every treasure. Unfortunatly, my downside was both being caught and dragged away by Sarah, and by the painful stomach ache later.